Catalog index → Poor Decisions Division → PD-031
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Second Thoughts
Cap
Item PD-031 is an adjustable head covering for personnel experiencing reconsideration at volume. Adjustable. Unlike your circumstances. The pre-curved brim shields the eyes during the walk back, and the unstructured crown accommodates swelling pride.
Issue size
Still $32.00
Meets or exceeds fictional MIL-SPEC CN-77-B
| Weight | 3.4 oz. Lighter than regret, heavier than foresight. |
|---|---|
| Color | Officially "Faded." Unofficially "the color of hindsight." |
| Material | 100% cotton twill, 0% conviction. |
| Fit | Adjustable strap. Circumstances remain fixed. |
| Brim | Pre-curved for downward gazes and side-eyes. |
| Uses | Shade, anonymity, signaling the rethink, etc. |
| Compliance | Meets or exceeds fictional MIL-SPEC CN-77-B. |
| Origin | Manufactured in a facility that also produces first thoughts, at lower quality. |
Report 1 of 3 — Reformed enthusiast, location undisclosed
Bought it mid-decision. By the time the strap was adjusted, the decision had adjusted itself. The cap gets partial credit.
Report 2 of 3 — Vendor, Bldg. 7 receiving dock
Customer tried it on, looked in the mirror, and returned three other items. The cap stayed. The cap always stays.
Report 3 of 3 — Redacted
████ wore this item while having ████ thoughts and reports the thoughts have since been ████.
Chaotic Neutral Supply Co. does not warrant that second thoughts experienced in this garment will be superior to first thoughts. The adjustable strap adjusts the cap, not the outcome. Do not operate while under the influence of prophecy, destiny, or overly supportive friends wearing matching caps. This cap is not a helmet, a halo, or a hiding place, though it has served capably as each. Absolutely unnecessary, and all the better for it. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed.* *Guarantee void where prohibited, permitted, or observed.
Frequently misappropriated with:
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