Document CN-PRO-1974 — declassified in error
The Chaotic Neutral
Supply Co. Prospectus
Prepared for internal distribution. Leaked anyway.
Founding, allegedly
In the summer of 1974, a man named Rutherford P. Dill (allegedly) founded Chaotic Neutral Supply Co. in a repurposed surplus warehouse just outside a city that no longer appears on most maps. His mission was simple: provide equipment and apparel to individuals whose moral compass had been dropped, stepped on, and possibly eaten by a goat.
By 1976 the company employed forty people. By 1977 it employed eleven, all of whom claimed to have been there since the beginning. Payroll records from this period were stored in the basement and are therefore no longer records.
Dill was last photographed in 1981, holding a clipboard and pointing at something outside the frame. Nobody has identified the object. Two former employees have identified the clipboard.
Department directory
AA-
Adventure Apparel
Responsible for clothing and wearable equipment. Not responsible for what you do while wearing it.
MP-
Morale Products
Produces encouragement in physical form. Reports to no one and never has.
FE-
Field Equipment
Tests equipment in the field. Selects the field without consulting the equipment.
PD-
Poor Decisions
Maintains the catalog items we cannot justify and will not discontinue.
DN-
Dubious Necessities
Classifies items that resist classification. Occasionally classifies itself.
Milestones, disputed
1974
Founded in a surplus warehouse outside a city that has since been reorganized off the map.
1976
First lawsuit. Settled for one pallet of unspecified goods and a promise.
1977
Catalog CN-001 printed twice by mistake. Both printings sold. Neither is considered authoritative.
1981
Warehouse floods. We keep the inventory.
1989
A department is added. No record exists of who authorized it or what it does.
2026
Digital catalog issued. Fulfillment methods unchanged since 1974.
Correspondence wall
Verified (fake)"Arrived damp. Arrived correct."
T. Vessels
Freight Consultant (Self-Appointed)
"I asked for a refund and received a second item instead. This is now my system."
D. Ontiveros
Deputy of Unclaimed Property
"The specifications were accurate, which unsettled me more than if they had not been."
R. Kaminski
Retired Inspector, Retired Agency
"Nine years. Same coverall. Same questions from strangers. Fewer answers from me."
P. Adeyemi
Night Shift, Bldg. 7
"Nobody at this company has ever told me no. Nobody has told me yes either."
H. Brandt
Alleged Distributor
"I use the compass daily. I have not needed to know where I am since 1994."
L. Okonjo
Person With A Compass