Catalog index → Adventure Apparel Division → CN-042
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Prioritizing
The Cigar Tee
Item CN-042 is a relaxed-fit garment developed for personnel who have already decided how the conversation ends. Front print applied by a press last serviced in 1977. Wearer assumes all responsibility for the position the shirt takes on their behalf.
Issue size
Still $34.00
Meets or exceeds fictional MIL-SPEC CN-77-B
| Weight | 6.2 oz. (give or take). |
|---|---|
| Color | Officially "Black." Unofficially "the color of a closed door." |
| Material | 50% cotton, 50% bad decisions. |
| Fit | Relaxed. More relaxed than the situation warrants. |
| Measurements | 29 in. length (ish). 22 in. chest, laid flat. |
| Uses | Lounging, avoiding people, cigar priorities, etc. |
| Compliance | Meets or exceeds fictional MIL-SPEC CN-77-B. |
| Origin | Manufactured in a facility that may or may not be subject to international oversight. |
Report 1 of 3 — Operator 44-C, elevation unknown
Wore it for eleven days. Was asked four times whether I was listening. Was not. Shirt answered on my behalf each time.
Report 2 of 3 — Requisition clerk, Bldg. 7
Garment survived a washing machine, a border checkpoint, and a family dinner. The dinner was the closest call.
Report 3 of 3 — Redacted
████ recommends this item for ████ operations, provided ████ never learns about ████.
Chaotic Neutral Supply Co. assumes no responsibility for adventures, misadventures, questionable decisions, or alignment changes resulting from use of our products. Do not operate while under the influence of prophecy, destiny, or overly supportive friends. This garment is not a flotation device, a cigar, a conversational strategy, a bargaining chip, an alibi, or a substitute for a personality. Wearer acknowledges that any perceived increase in credibility is coincidental and non-transferable. In the event of contradiction between this disclaimer and any statement made by our staff, this disclaimer prevails; in the event of contradiction between this disclaimer and itself, the more restrictive reading applies. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed.* *Guarantee valid only in jurisdictions where time flows backward.
Frequently misappropriated with:
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The sign was incomplete.