Catalog index → Field Equipment Division → FE-038
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Field Notebook
CN-77
Item FE-038 is a pocket notebook for recording observations that cannot be trusted to memory or to anyone else. Waterproof. Not fireproof. We tried. Ruled pages accept pencil, pen, and, in emergencies, blood (type O preferred for legibility).
Issue size
Still $12.00
Meets or exceeds fictional MIL-SPEC CN-77-B
| Pages | 192 ruled pages. Ruled, like the expeditions they document. |
|---|---|
| Cover | Officially "Olive drab." Unofficially "mud-colored, preemptively." |
| Material | Waterproof stone paper. Not fireproof. We tried. Twice. |
| Dimensions | 3.5 × 5.5 in. Fits any breast pocket and most alibis. |
| Binding | Saddle-stitched. Saddle not included. |
| Uses | Notes, sketches, coded messages, grocery lists in code, etc. |
| Compliance | Meets or exceeds fictional MIL-SPEC CN-77-B. |
| Origin | Printed on a press that also produces parking tickets and strongly worded letters. |
Report 1 of 3 — Field observer, elevation unknown
Submerged it in a river for three days. Notes survived. Handwriting did not improve. Concluding the paper is the reliable one.
Report 2 of 3 — Archivist, Bldg. 7
Received a filled notebook for filing. Filed it under E for Evidence. It has since filed itself under G for Gone.
Report 3 of 3 — Redacted
████ recorded ████ in this item in real time. The notebook is now our only ████. Promoted to ████.
Chaotic Neutral Supply Co. assumes no responsibility for notes taken, notes lost, or notes subpoenaed. Waterproofing withstands rain, rivers, and perspiration; it does not withstand fire, shredders, or personnel with clearance. Do not use as a cipher pad unless you enjoy other people reading your ciphers. Pages are numbered; if your copy skips from 47 to 49, page 48 is serving elsewhere and will not be discussed. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed.* *Guarantee valid only in jurisdictions where time flows backward.
Frequently misappropriated with:
Ambiguous Compass
Points somewhere. Consistently.
Surplus Duffel, 60L
Rated for gear, evidence, or both.
Prioritizing The Cigar Tee
For people who make poor choices.